Una Lagrima Furtiva

Today when I woke up, there was only a song. But it was so beautiful, it made me cry.

Closure At Last

Today is truly magical. My heart is so full of emotion that I have to let it out in this blog. I have to write about closure that has just happened for me. Twenty-five years ago, in the fall of 1984, I studied abroad in Spain. For about 6 weeks of that semester I went out with a Spaniard I met named Juan Jose. It was a wonderful 6 weeks. Then, one day, he said he would call me and he didn't. When I tried to get in touch with him, he would not answer my calls. I finally saw him at a bus stop in Madrid and asked him what happened. He said nothing had happened. He would call me. He never did. And, I never saw or talked to him again. Until today. I was looking up friends from that semester in Madrid in Facebook and on a whim, typed in his name. It popped up! I sent him a fairly generic message. Then, today he responded back to me. He apologized for disappearing from my life in such a bad way back then and he explained to me all that he was feeling at that time. He was afraid of the feelings he had knowing I was leaving. He seemed really happy to hear from me now. It's hard to explain what this means to me. It was a very painful thing to happen back then, so far from home. All those years I wondered why he did what he did. But now I know. I have closure.

QS LEXUS

Last weekend I drove to Butler, PA to visit my cousin. On the way there, somewhere, I don't remember where, I was behind a car with the license plate, QS LEXUS (yes, the car was a Lexus). I remember thinking absent-mindedly as I drove, "Does that mean the person's name or first initial is Q as in Q's Lexus, or are his initials QS or does the QS mean something else?" I didn't think about it too much and moved on to some other off the wall thoughts. Two days later on my way home, driving through Steubenville, I saw the same car with the license plate, "QS LEXUS!" I still don't know what it means but I can't believe I saw the same car two days later and maybe not even in the same city!

So Weird

My "psychic" abilities seem to have been inherited by Alex! Well, I've only had a couple of psychic experiences (see previous blogs!) but my friend John has been teasing me lately about being psychic so let's assume I am! Anyhow, Alex shared an "eerie" story with me yesterday. About a week or so ago he had a dream that a friend of his was moving to Texas. He told her about it and she just laughed. A few days later she came up to him and said, "Alex, you are not going to believe this. Guess where my Dad is today for a job interview? Texas!" So, she isn't moving there for sure but how weird is that? Like the name of a show my kids used to watch .... "So weird!"

The Future is Now

When I was a kid and they described the future in books or on TV, two things stand out in my mind - flying cars and television phones where you could see the person you were talking to and they could see you. Well, it's almost 2010 and we don't have flying cars but tonight, as I talked to Mackenzie at school and saw her face on the computer via a Web tool called Tokbox, I felt that that future was now. I know that video conferencing technology has been around for long time and programs like Skype and Toxbox have been around for awhile but I've never really used this technology for personal conversation like this until tonight. It was so cool. It was magic to a Mom who misses her girl.

A Psychic Experience

I'm very delinquent in writing some of the "Everyday Magic" events of this summer. One I have to document because I truly felt like I had a psychic experience. On July 16, Mackenzie was to get information about her OU roommate. When I woke up that morning I was excited for her and started thinking about it. "I wonder what her name will be?" I kept getting names popping into my head like Kaleigh, Kelsey, etc. Then, I thought, "I wonder where she's from?" For some reason I thought - "I bet she's from somewhere like Wapakoneta." A little while later, we pulled up the info online and . . . her name is Kasey and she's from . . . Wapakoneta! Yes, the hairs on my arm stood up!

903

Today we took Mackenzie to OU. Previously I wrote about how she was born at 9:03pm and I always seem to look at the clock at 9:03. Today I realized that she came into my life at 9:03 and left my nest on 9-03.

Graduation Magic

The high school graduation of your child is magic! It's proud, exciting, happy, exhausting, expensive, and heart-breaking all at the same time. Today, I am physically, mentally, financially, and emotionally exhausted. But, I am so, so, so proud! What a wonderful daughter I have in so many ways.

The ceremony itself wasn't anything extraordinary. In fact, it was probably like hundreds of ceremonies across the country. But something interesting did happen. First, though, I need to explain. My grandma was a watercolor painter and liked to paint birds. After she passed away, I read a story about a lady who believed that her mother visited her in the form of a butterfly. Everytime she saw a butterfly, she felt it was her mother. One day, right after Grandma died, I was sitting in the cafe at work by the window and a little bird kept knocking against the window - like it was trying to get my attention. When I really looked at it - it looked just like the chickadees my grandma used to paint! So, I got it in my head that my grandma was visiting me in the form of a bird. Right before the graduation ceremony started, there was a slight commotion and many people in the audience started pointing to a bird flying around the arena. To them, it was a funny distraction. But to me, it was so much more. It was Grandma. She loved Mackenzie so much - I knew she just had to be there!

Happy Birthday Header

Yesterday I turned 45. There's not much magic about turning 45 or the thought of getting older. As in past years, I spent my birthday on the soccer fields at a weekend tournament. Some people might not think that's a great way to spend a birthday, but for me it is. I love it. There's not much else I'd rather do. This year is especially meaningful because it's probably my last Memorial Day/Birthday soccer tournament and probably my last soccer tournament period. Alex says he isn't going to play soccer anymore. But this weekend he was awesome. He scored 3 goals and two were beautiful headers on a corner kick. One of those was on my birthday and it was the game winning goal! It also gave them the win they needed to go to the championship game! He also played awesome defense. I really saw him grow in confidence this weekend. Now, he says he doesn't know what he's going to do next fall. So, maybe there's an inkling of hope it's not totally over! But, he has to do what makes him happy. Whatever happens, though, his playing this weekend and the championship for the team made my birthday magic!

Writer Unblocked

When I was in seventh grade we had to write several kinds of poems and make a poetry book. One of my favorite types of poems was the Acrostic poem where you write a word vertically and start the beginning of each line of the poem with each letter of the word. The poems are usually very succinct. I wrote one acrostic poem with the word SPRING -

Soft
Pitter-pattering
Rain
In a
Newly blossomed
Garden

My teacher told me I should get it published someday. A few weeks ago I saw an ad for a writing contest sponsored by the Westerville Library as part of Celebrate the Arts month. I decided to enter the contest with that poem but I felt like it wasn't enough so I wrote an acrostic poem for each of the four seasons. Yesterday I got a call that I am a finalist in the contest. I get to go to the Westerville Library in a couple of weeks where they will announce the winners and we get to read our work. The paper is going to be there, too, and all entries will be bound in a book! I think this means I will either get 1st, 2nd, 3rd or Honorable Mention. No matter what I'm really excited to be a finalist and my poems will be published in the book! I feel like it's a dream come true in a small way - just to have a little tiny success as a writer! I always liked to write poems and I always thought it was something I was pretty good at. It makes me think of my Grandpa Sarver who liked to write poems. I think he'd be proud!

Gold Skies At Night

"Red skies at night, sailor's delight." But what does it mean if the sky is gold? I haven't written in awhile. I guess I haven't been looking for the magic. But tonight, it forced itself on me with an "in-your-face" dazzling gold sunset Driving home, the sunset teased me from behind, forcing me to constantly look in my rear view mirror. This sunset was golden - no trace of red or orange - just pure, deep, shiny gold. I don't think I've seen a sunset that was just one color like that and so intense. Maybe it was extra intense because we haven't seen the sun much in a long time. The light reflected off all the buildings on Polaris Parkway making them golden glowing towers of light. It was really incredible. "Gold skies at night - pay attention to the light!"

Fast Forward

When Mackenzie was little I used to see this lady all the time walking around Westerville, at the park, at the library, etc. with her little baby girl in a papoose carrier. They intrigued me because they looked so Scandanavian. Both the mom and little girl had blonde hair and really pink cheeks. I heard the mom talk once and she definitely had an accent. The little girl was a doll baby and dressed in little Scandanavian looking clothes and hats. I saw them everywhere! Time went on and I didn't see them anymore but really didn't think about it. Then, today, I was at the library and I saw the mom and daughter. The mom looked the same but the daughter, of course was all grown up. She is probably a year or two younger than Mackenzie and was a good 5'5 or 6" tall. But, she still had the same face and ruddy red cheeks. It was such a weird feeling of "fast forward!" I mean, it's probably been at least 15 years since I've seen them. I don't even know their names but I felt I knew them. I really wanted to go up and tell them "I used to see you guys all the time when she was a baby." But, I'm sure they'd think I was really weird!

A Brand New Day?

Today Barack Obama was sworn in as our 44th president. It was amazing to see the millions of people croweded in the Mall in Washington DC. The news showed clips of people around the world celebrating. There is just such a hope from everyone - especially young people - that he is the person who is going to save our world. It's also amazing to see the faces of African-Americans as they watch a black man become President - the day after we honored the birth of Martin Luther King. There is such hope and pride and a sense of victory. Yet there are those who are not celebrating today. They think he's too inexperienced. They think some people may have voted for him just because he's black. They are scared when they hear his full name - Barack Hussein Obama. I don't know what I think yet. I want to believe in the magic but worry - have we put this man on a pedestal? Has the world built him up too much and made him into their savior? What an awesome weight is on his shoulders. He faces war, economic problems like we haven't seen in decades, terrorist threats, and building tensions in the Middle East. But, I'm praying and pulling for him to fulfill the hope that the world has pinned on him - hope for better times, hope for peace, hope for equality and freedom, and hope for goodness in our leaders. Time will tell. For today, I'll hold those incredible images I saw of people coming together in hope. I don't think I've ever seen or felt anything like it.

A New Outlook

I couldn't get on the computer yesterday to share the magic of being able to see clearly again! Because of an eye problem, I had to use some medication and couldn't wear my contacts for about 2 weeks. I ordered new glasses so I could see without the contacts but they were the wrong prescription. I wore them for a week thinking I just needed to get adjusted from wearing contacts all the time. Then, when it was clear they were wrong, I had to wear them another week until the right ones came in.
So, for 2 weeks my vision was all out of whack. It made me nauseous and dizzy, and I couldn't drive at night (and hardly during the day, either). I felt like I could hardly function and I was SO frustrated. Yesterday, I got the new glasses with the correct prescription. When I put them on, things were better but not perfect. But, when I got the OK to wear my contacts again and put them in - HALLELUJAH!!! I could see SO clearly! It truly was magic to get my vision back. The world looks sharp and I feel so much sharper!

Chivalry is Not Dead

We've had a lot of snow in the past two days (4-5")and today it is bitterly cold (5 degrees). However, in the bowels of winter I learned that chivalry is not dead! Last night, Dwight picked me up from work so I left my van in the parking lot. Of course, today, when I went out to leave, my car was the only one covered in a blanket of snow and snow was drifted all around it. For some reason, today I didn't wear my boots. So, when I got to my car I brushed as much snow off as I could reach without stepping in the drifts. Then, while I was contemplating how I was going to brush off the other side when the only access was to step in a huge drift, a man (a gorgeous man!) appeared out of nowhere and started brushing off that side of the car. I noticed he wasn't wearing any gloves (remember it's 5 degrees). I told him he shouldn't be doing that with no gloves but he said he just moved here from the upper peninsula of Michigan so this weather is nothing to him! He went more than out of his way to make sure my car was all cleaned off. It was so nice. So, whoever you are, Chase Commercial Banking employee who just moved here from Michigan, thank you thank you. Ah, to be 15 years younger and single . . . !!! ;)

The Knife

When my brother Kenny and I were younger, we had a toy that was an orange, rubber knife. I'm not sure why we had it. It probably came with some toy set. During high school for some reason we started playing a game where we would hide the knife somewhere the other person would accidentally find it when they least expected it - the shower, under their pillow, etc. When I went away to college my freshman year, I had forgotten about the knife. One day when I had been away for about 3 weeks I was feeling really homesick so I went to a practice room at the Conservatory to play my violin. When I opened the case,there was the knife! I remember crying and laughing at the same time. It was like a visit from home! Sometime over the years, we lost the orange knife. I kept thinking it would turn up but it never did. For Kenny's 40th birthday I found a similar black rubber knife online and gave it to him. Soon, the new knife was in circulation! At Thanksgiving, I hid it in his medicine cabinet. I asked him about it this past weekend when we were in Medina but he pretended to know nothing about it. Today, was starting out to be a bad day. I got little sleep last night and knew there were things I'd have to face today I didn't want to. As I reached into my purse, searching for something at the bottom, my hands gripped something rubbery. I pulled the object out and there was the knife! I burst into laughter! Suddenly, the day didn't look so bad!

Apples to Apples

Apples to Apples is a really fun game. It's even more fun when your teenage kids want to have a family night and play it. And, it's even more fun when you all laugh til you cry and your teenage daughter turns down a couple of offers to do something else so she can hang out with the family. We haven't done this often enough. Cherish these moments.