My Innermost Being and Reality

Magic came my way today as it often does, via Facebook. Someone posted this quote and it really struck a chord with me, it really resonated with the way I've been feeling lately.

"People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life.... I think what we’re really seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonance within our innermost being and reality, so that we can actually feel the rapture of being alive."-Joseph Campbell

I have such a longing to be in Spain and to travel. I've never understood why or why it drives me so crazy, why the attraction to these things. This quote gave me what Oprah calls "an aha moment." I realized that Spain and travel are life experiences that resonate with my "innermost being and reality" and when I'm in Spain or when I'm traveling I feel the "rapture of being alive."

I think some people have this "innermost being and reality" stronger than others. Having it so strongly can be both a blesing and a curse. It's a blessing because when you have those life experiences you feel the rapture and it's like nothing else. But, it's a curse because when you don't have those life experiences, when you are not living them, you feel a terrible longing and discontent. You feel like you are not living the life you should be. I kind of envy those people who don't feel something so strongly.

This quote was magic for me today because I can put a label on my longing and discontent. Spain and traveling abroad are the life experiences that resonate with my innermost being. Maybe I'll never know why these things are my reality but they are. So, the magic I'm seeking now are how to get more of these life experiences.

New Year, New Magic

It's already the third day of 2011. Hard to believe. Here is some magic that happened already:

The first day of the year was 1-1-11! I also looked at the clock at 11:11 on 1-1-11.

A friend I work with had found someone we worked with a long time ago on Linked In and was telling me about it. I sent him a friend invite via Linked In. He wrote me back and said it was a strange coincidence because he had been thinking about me that day and a project we worked on a long time ago as he was taking a walk. He was going to get on his computer after his walk and send me a Linked In invite! When he got on Linked In there was my invite! He actually is working and living in Saudi Arabia.

I got a call on New Year's Day from Luanne. Haven't talked to her in ages and we talked for 2 hours. That's not necessarily a coincidence or anything but it was great to talk to her and have someone thinking about wanting to talk to you enough to make it a priority on New Year's Day!

This year I again open my eyes, ears and heart to the magic of life- to be aware of coincidences and serenditpity and invite them into my life. This year, too, I'm going to work on manifesting the things I want in my life and see what happens!

Milagro

In looking back at 2010 posts . . .and there was only one in that most magical year ... I can't believe I didn't write about the miracle that I experienced. Alex and I were on a church mission trip to Nicaragua. The first night we were there we were visiting the cathedral in Managua. We were all with a big group in a small chapel. Finally, everyone left but Alex, Jenny, and I. Alex was leaning against a wall where there was a small hole. He told me he heard something weird through the wall - like voices and maybe crying. I listened and could hear what sounded like a baby crying. I asked Jenny to listen and she heard it, too. We found a Nicaraguan woman in the chapel and told her what we heard. She listened and didn't hear anything. She tried to convince us we heard the wind or frogs that sound like a baby crying. We knew what we heard so we kept after her to listen again. When she did, she heard it, too. She lead us outside the side doors of the cathedral. It had just rained and was cooler. There on the landing of the steps leading up to the doors, we saw a tiny baby. Jenny ran and picked her up. She was wrapped only in a rag. She was no more than a day or two old with her umbilical cord stump still attached. Next to her was a plain muslin dress. Her fingers and toes were turning blue. She had a lot of dark hair. The lady with us quickly ran to get the nuns. They too were shocked at what we had found. They ran to get some blankets. We talked to them briefly but then had to leave to join our group. Jenny and I wanted to know what happened to the baby but Ann, one of the other leaders, convinced us that we should just let it be and live with the knowledge that we had helped the baby. Things, she said, just don't happen the same there as they do here. A couple of months later, I just couldn't stand not knowing any more. I sent a letter to the nuns and just addressed the envelope, "Cathedral, Managua, Nicaragua." In my mind, I called her Milagro which means Miracle in Spanish. A couple of weeks later I got an email from the nuns with 14 pictures of a beautiful, healthy baby girl who had been adopted by a couple who could not have children! And, what absolutely brought chills to me and made me cry . . .they named her "Milagro Teresa!"

2010

I know I haven't blogged in quite awhile and here it is a new year. Before I move on to 2011 I just want to say that not writing for 6 months in 2010 wasn't due to lack of "magic" in my life. In fact, 2010 was a year full of magic. It was probably one of the best, most surreal years of my life. I fully believe I owe it to serendipity, magic, and opening myself to manifesting the things I truly desire. My trip to Spain in October was absolutely wonderful and . . I'll say it again. . . incredibly surreal. I got back in touch with someone who was very special to me 26 years ago . . . a "magical" relationship in a "magical" place that ended painfully. This was my chance to get closure and rebuild a special frienship with this person and his family. There is a strong connection between all of us now that I hope will last a long time. I can't write about all of the "magic" here. Some magic isn't meant to be shared. But, I will treasure that trip and my new and renewed relationships with people I thought were forever lost to me but were found again - thanks to Facebook. And, blossomed 26 years later thanks to . . . magic.

Magic Untold

Incredible. Unbelievable. Out of my world. Real? I don't know. Surreal, that's for sure. Connection. What to believe? I don't know. Only that it's magic, the most magic ever. But that's all I'm going to say. These words are here to remind me someday when the magic is gone.

Una Lagrima Furtiva

Today when I woke up, there was only a song. But it was so beautiful, it made me cry.

Closure At Last

Today is truly magical. My heart is so full of emotion that I have to let it out in this blog. I have to write about closure that has just happened for me. Twenty-five years ago, in the fall of 1984, I studied abroad in Spain. For about 6 weeks of that semester I went out with a Spaniard I met named Juan Jose. It was a wonderful 6 weeks. Then, one day, he said he would call me and he didn't. When I tried to get in touch with him, he would not answer my calls. I finally saw him at a bus stop in Madrid and asked him what happened. He said nothing had happened. He would call me. He never did. And, I never saw or talked to him again. Until today. I was looking up friends from that semester in Madrid in Facebook and on a whim, typed in his name. It popped up! I sent him a fairly generic message. Then, today he responded back to me. He apologized for disappearing from my life in such a bad way back then and he explained to me all that he was feeling at that time. He was afraid of the feelings he had knowing I was leaving. He seemed really happy to hear from me now. It's hard to explain what this means to me. It was a very painful thing to happen back then, so far from home. All those years I wondered why he did what he did. But now I know. I have closure.